The Struggles Of An introverted Mom + How To Overcome Them
By:     -   January 8, 2018   -   Parenting  -  Relationships   -   0 Comments   -   179 Views
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Photo: Nappy.co

I’m an introvert. I adore my quiet time. I live for moments alone with myself….just me…thinking, breathing, relaxing, writing. I gain energy by recharging in solitude.

A lot has changed over the years, and I still find myself scrambling to adjust in balancing life with the natural way I’m wired. Living in a house full of high-energy children, a husband and a dog is a blessing, but by the end of each day, I find myself completely drained, irritable, and desperately needing to recharge…alone. Not to mention, dealing with working in a busy office all day. Hell, I have barely gone to the bathroom alone since having kids…and a husband!

Though the struggle is still very real, here are some ways that I’ve learned to find a healthy balance:

COMMUNICATE

This will, by far, be the most important tip of them all. Let your significant other know how you gain your energy, and when you’re feeling drained. Also, let the kids know when you need a “time-out”. Yes, adult-ing is rough, and many of us could surely use a time-out every so often. This is not limited to only those individuals in your household, but in our other relationships as well. As it comes to friendships, here are some outings your circle may want to get into the rotation for the more introverted personalities.

WAKE UP EARLY

Although I am not exactly a “morning person”, most times, I have no choice but to wake up super early because of young kids, school, work, etc. That’s life. But mornings are also very instrumental in setting your positive intentions and tone for the day, as well getting in a few moments of quiet to pray/meditate, journal, get a jump-start on a work assignment, sneak in an early workout, take a shower or sh*t in peace…or just be. This is not the part where I tell you that you must awake at 4am to be successful, but rather to do what works for you. In my case, setting my alarm for an hour earlier than when the rest of the house awakes is sufficient for me.

On the other side of the coin, you may be more productive in the evenings, and may want to solidify bedtimes for the children, so that you can get in at least an hour or 2 of uninterrupted solitude before turning in for the night.

BLOCK OUT TIMES

This has been a huge life-saver for me; literally coordinating with my husband and blocking out dates and times in my personal calendar for alone time to practice self-care, recharge, or anything else I wish to do. No clients, no calls, no loud house…just me. We can complain until we’re blue in the face about not having any time for ourselves, but there is power in making it an action item, and reclaiming our time (Hi, Auntie Maxine) altogether. Block it out on that calendar, so we know it’s real.

LEAN ON YOUR VILLAGE

Listen, don’t feel guilty about wanting some time away from family life. I swear, I relish the moments when the kids are quietly tucked away in their beds for the night. Blocking out times was the perfect segway into leaning on our villages. It is essential for our sanity. Your significant other will do just fine with the kids for a few hours, and the kids will be fine if they need to be under the care of a trusted caregiver for a few. Recognizing that not everyone has the same level of support, it is best to come up with strategies that work best for your situation.  When you need a time-out, who do you lean on, what do you do, and where do you go? 

SET BOUNDARIES

Motherhood will literally run me from sun-up to sun-down, if I let it. I have been very intentional about setting boundaries in letting the children know that I need some alone time. I also encourage them to take some as well. Further, we operate best on a schedule, so as to ensure that everyone’s needs are being met.

BE PRESENT IN THE MOMENTS

All things considered, just as it is important to carve in your quiet time, it is equally as essential to be engaged in those moments that you are spending with your loved ones. Kids grow up so fast, so cherish those times, and make as many fond memories as possible.

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